Oct 24, 2021 | Leadership, Personal Distinction
It’s one of the most challenging aspects of leadership: How do you effectively have a difficult conversation with a team member or customer?
The answer: With sensitivity and respect.
Difficult conversations should never be taken lightly, especially in the current climate of heightened emotions.
Executives, managers, and entrepreneurs all know they need to have tough talks with their employees from time to time — but that doesn’t mean it gets any easier. In fact, it might be harder now because of a heightened tension between different ideologies that have spilled over into workplaces everywhere — combined with the fact that there are more generations in the workforce now than at any time in history.
“One thing we can’t escape is that this (time) has been very divisive for many Americans,” said Bill Hybels, senior pastor at Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago. His church draws more than 25,000 attendees each weekend from across the country and around the world. Difficult conversations consumed two days of training during Willow Creek’s annual Global Leadership Summit earlier this month.
“I’ve seen the level of anger escalate at an alarming rate,” Hybels said, “and I’ve seen the level of outrage rise exponentially.”
This is not just a problem for business leaders.
School teachers, college professors, church pastors, non-profit directors — anyone in any position of leadership or authority — could find themselves having these difficult discussions with employees or customers who may be upset over changes that affect their families.
Difficult conversations arise frequently and at all levels, and they should be handled with respect and for the good of everyone involved — even those who may disagree.
- Difficult conversations happen whenever we hold accountability sessions, give performance reviews, address challenges with an employee’s attitude or behaviors, challenge a viewpoint that someone holds dear to them, or when we deliver difficult feedback.
- Difficult moments often come up when people feel stressed by their circumstances and about making hard choices about where scarce resources will be distributed.
- Difficult conversations also arise during routine day-to-day interactions such as meeting deadlines and resolving workplace disputes.
While these conversations aren’t easy (that’s why they’re called “difficult,” isn’t it?), here are three basic steps to handling these uncomfortable situations:
1. Prepare yourself
- Remember why you’re having the conversation
- When difficult conversations come up, it’s easy to lose sight of what you want to achieve in that conversation. Your goal is not necessarily to change your team member’s mind or get them to agree with you, but just ensure they understand where you’re coming from and why this matters so much to you. You may even be able to find some common ground on which both parties can meet.
- Acknowledge their feelings
- The #1 reason many people resist giving constructive feedback is because they don’t know how the other person will feel about it. When we fear upsetting someone — especially someone whom we care deeply about — our natural response is often to avoid it. Difficult conversations are never easy, but the more you can do to put people at ease, the better your chances of having a productive conversation.
- Be respectful of their time and priorities
- Everyone has responsibilities that take some precedence over work–with kids or parents who need help, problems at home that need solving, commitments to attend religious services, not to mention taking a lunch break! Difficult conversations might cut into time they needed for family commitments. Therefore, be respectful of their time and priorities by keeping difficult conversations as brief as possible – no longer than 15-20 minutes – with a clear understanding of how much time they have.
2. Lean In to the Difficult Conversations
- Identify what you’re trying to accomplish
- Before you say one word, be clear in your own mind what exactly it is that you want to accomplish or communicate.
- State specifically what you think the person did
- People don’t usually have a problem hearing that they’ve done something wrong–it’s having to acknowledge responsibility for their actions that gets them defensive. Difficult conversations are especially dicey when emotions escalate; people get more hurt and angry, which makes it more difficult for them to hear what you’re saying. Be sure your intentions are right by starting with “I” statements instead of “you” statements–which will deflect any defensiveness on the part of that other person. If possible, cite specific examples or even evidence of behaviors (not feelings) to support your perspective.
- Describe the impact of their behavior
- What results did you see as a result of them doing what they do? What has it cost (time, productivity, affecting others’ morale)? Difficult conversations are tough because people often hear “feedback” as being criticized–and then simply shut down. Diffuse this by focusing less on them and more on impact to your organization. Be sure to describe how their personal attitudes or behaviors have affected you, other team members, or customers–or even perhaps themselves by using phrases like “You’ve made me feel…”
3. Check Progress & Agree on Next Steps
- Remain open-minded throughout difficult conversations
- Sometimes people don’t hear us or understand our perspective until we’ve given them all the information and they’ve had a chance to process it. Difficult conversations often elicit strong reactions, so give this person some time to think about what you discussed and come back with any questions before moving forward.
- Stay flexible throughout difficult conversations
- The best way to avoid conflict is through open dialogue–and both parties really listening to each other. Difficult conversations involve humanity, warmth, empathy and respect–which means that if your first attempt doesn’t work, try not to take it personally and just keep iterating until you find a way through. Difficult conversations might require several iterations before either party feels satisfied with the results; this is normal!
- Difficult conversations require both parties to stay flexible and open-minded throughout.
Difficult conversations really test your ability to listen, understand, empathize and collaborate with others — and can therefore open new levels of trust and respect. Difficult conversions might be challenging at times, but remain respectful, honest, and empathetic throughout the entire conversation — even if it means agreeing not to agree on certain topics!
Difficult conversations can bring about new insight or awareness from someone else’s perspective.
Difficult conversations are essential for building great relationships and professional environments.
Difficult conversations can also bring about new insight or awareness from someone else’s perspective.
Difficult conversations might require several iterations before either party feels satisfied with the results, this is normal!
Difficult conversations might even lead to a healthier work environment where everyone thrives and delivers the best results under the pressure of being held accountable for their actions.
Difficult conversions are essential in building great relationships and professional environments.
Difficult conversations bring closure to both parties involved (the one who is having difficult conversation as well as those receiving feedback) ensuring that they mutually understand each other better.
Difficult conversions are essential in building great relationships and professional environments. After all, you’d rather have tough conversations now than have them erupt later down the road or catch you by surprise! Difficult conversations might be challenging at times, but remain respectful, honest and empathetic throughout the entire conversation–even if it means agreeing not to agree on certain topics!
Sep 26, 2021 | Business Distinction, Customer Experience, Leadership, Personal Distinction
Here’s a statistic that’s a bit difficult for me to wrap my head around: in July, 4,000,000 people quit their jobs! By the end of July, there were almost 11,000,000 jobs open — an all-time record, according to Harvard Business Review.
As I talk with entrepreneurs and leaders of large corporations, all are singing a similar tune: “It’s tough — almost impossible — to find and keep great people.”
Since the Great Recession of 2008, you have likely been hearing about the “skills gap.” That is, “there aren’t enough trained workers with skills needed to fill open jobs at a time when a record number of them are going unfilled.” But it does not stop there. We hear from constant news reports and analysis about the “Great Resignation” — a tsunami of employees walking away from their employment. It’s a critical challenge for every business, regardless of size.
In the book “Why People Resign: The Great Resignation and What to Do About It,” author Robert Bacal states that his research found eight principal reasons why people quit their jobs. A few of the reasons he discovered were that employees were resigning due to:
- lack of appreciation
- being under-challenged or overly challenged at work
- being paid less than their colleagues.
Bacal’s research discovered that when employees quit, it has much more to do with the overall employment experience than simple matters like salary.
For many years, I’ve been writing and speaking about the customer experience — always pointing out that we need to be equally concerned about the experiences that our internal customers (often called “employees” or “team members”) are having and not focus solely on external customers who buy our products and services.
In my first business book, “ALL Business is Show Business!” over twenty years ago, I wrote:
“The purpose of any business is to profitably create experiences so compelling that loyalty becomes assured.”
Many would read that sentence as advocating an Ultimate Customer Experience® for those who purchase from us — and it does!
- However, it’s also to state the superior importance of delivering an extraordinary experience for internal customers, as well — so their loyalty becomes the result of our efforts.
It’s amazing to me that if an employee quits, walks out of the building, and tries to leave with the company computer she has used during her employment, the manager would call the cops and have her arrested for theft. That same employee, however, can walk out with customer relationships, knowledge of the business, and recipient of an extensive investment in training and education from the company…and most managers just shrug and say, “That’s the way business works today!”
I promise you that it’s more likely their knowledge and relationships are significantly more important to your business than their company laptop!
Yet, you would never know that, because the vast majority of managers are blind to this. Some even think all employees are interchangeable. If they can’t find a good replacement from within, then they just hire from the outside without much thought or consideration for what is really going on.
(By the way — do you know your turnover rate? Do you know the primary reasons that people are leaving your employment? Have you done a bit of research to discover why great candidates aren’t accepting your job offers? Until you take these steps, you probably aren’t going to solve your employment problems.)
The reasons for this are many, but several sources report that the most common reasons people quit their jobs are:
- The work is not engaging.
- Leadership doesn’t care about employees.
- There are no opportunities to advance or grow.
- I don’t feel valued by my employer.
(You can probably think of more. But, please note, salary is not among the primary reasons that people quit.)
You probably have an acquisition strategy for customers — in other words, you’ve planned out how you are going to attract new customers for your business.
- You have one for external customers…how you’re going to get paying customers away from your competition and over to your side; and you probably have a recruitment approach for new employees, as well.
- The problem is that today’s marketplace requires a retention strategy that is engineered with as much passion and precision as your acquisition strategy. What is your detailed plan to keep the customers you have — both internal and external?
In this time where people feel little reticence about quitting a job, planning a distinctive retention strategy for your internal customers may be one of the most profitable steps you make this year.
Want to obtain and retain your customers — both internal and external? You’ll discover how when you join the Iconic Inner Circle. There’s zero risk — your first month is free and you can cancel anytime. Check it out: https://IconicInnercircle.com
Sep 12, 2021 | Business Distinction, Leadership, Personal Distinction
No matter the size of the business, every entrepreneur seeks to build a foundation that will allow growth to happen. All entrepreneurs dream of success for themselves and their families, and hope to attract employees who will help them grow.
However, there are three common mistakes entrepreneurs make with their businesses. Certainly, all three can be corrected — if you know what those mistakes are. And the entrepreneur who understands these common mistakes will be ahead of the game — hopefully she or he will not make them in the first place!
First Mistake: Not building a solid foundation for growth
All entrepreneurs start small businesses and frequently use their personal credit cards and bank accounts to finance their operations in the beginning. But when capital begins to run low, the entrepreneur either must figure out how to raise more money — or cut back on their growth plans. Often, cash flow challenges are the entrepreneur’s worst nightmare.
Desperation is never something you want your customers or employees to perceive about your business. Businesses that are not capitalized correctly do not grow past the entrepreneur’s four walls. An entrepreneur who does not build a solid foundation early on is doomed to stay small — and often they merely hope to remain afloat.
Second Mistake: The entrepreneur’s attention is divided
When too many responsibilities are given to one person, there is no longer an entrepreneur at all! The entrepreneur can and should make the primary decisions. However, there are only so many hours in a day and only so much attention one entrepreneur can give to their business.
The entrepreneur must develop a team of professionals with strengths that complement his or her weaknesses. This doesn’t mean you must have a cadre of full-time employees!
Acquire people for your team who are better at the aspects where you need help. For some, that means you hire a part-time or freelance bookkeeper. For others, you may need accomplished sales professionals. Whatever it is for your individual situation, your business gets better when your team gets better. You cannot do it all.
Third Mistake: The entrepreneur is too isolated
Many times, entrepreneurs are guilty of not doing sufficient market research. This mistake often results in the entrepreneur starting a business with little or no customer interest — resulting in wasted time, money, and effort.
It is extremely important for entrepreneurs to have knowledge of their potential customers before they put substantial work into making their product or service available for purchase. It means you put people (customers and team members) ahead of products and services — and you listen to those who work for you and purchase from you.
It is vital to be flexible. There are few things more frustrating for consumers than the entrepreneur who refuses to adapt the product or service after receiving valid customer input. This may mean temporarily shelving a pet project that isn’t moving forward, or adjusting your business model so it better fits your customers’ needs. And remember, what people say matters to you and your business.
- However, a word of warning here: the entrepreneur must be careful not to let a customer’s suggestion change a product or service into something it was never intended to be!
It is vital that entrepreneurs stay focused on what they are trying to accomplish, while also considering what their customers are saying. You should embrace constructive criticism from customers and employees.
However, be careful not to let it take the place of your original vision. There’s likely a compelling reason you chose to do what you’re doing. Most often, feedback helps us make mid-course corrections — but it usually shouldn’t move us to change our destination.
When you take care of these three mistakes, you are well on your way to entrepreneurial success — and creating distinction in a hyper-competitive marketplace!
We discuss this entrepreneurial success in detail – and provide specific strategies for you to enhance your ability to obtain and retain customers – in our Iconic Inner Circle.
I’d love for you to check it out – your first month is FREE! Simply go to: https://IconicInnerCircle.com
Aug 28, 2021 | Business Distinction, Leadership
No one wakes up in the morning and says, “Today, I will be a horrible boss!” Everyone, however, has a story that relates to a terrible experience with an inferior manager.
What makes a “bad” boss?
Asking this question on Quora.com, one user said, “a bad boss is someone who does not know how to lead, motivate and bring the best out of others.” Another person wrote, “A bad manager is one that doesn’t care about their team or company.” A third person recalled, “When I was in high school, my tennis coach would always yell at me for every little thing and put me down when things went wrong.”
My worst manager experience was in my teenage years when my boss came into the radio station and pointed a gun at me! (He was drunk at the time, which is an entirely different conversation!) He was so strict and controlling, I never knew when he would flip out about something. He wanted things done his way or not at all — which is simply an impossible standard to meet!
A poor manager can be one who micromanages every aspect of the workday; someone who doesn’t communicate in ways employees understand, or constantly going over their heads, or even someone with no respect for their subordinates whatsoever. Basically, a horrible boss is anyone who makes you dread going into work each day. (If this sounds familiar, it might be time to update your resume!)
- What do all these have in common? They are terrible management experiences!
Let’s explore what makes a “bad” boss through examples from other people’s lives.
· So, what makes for a “bad boss”?
Is it someone who is “bossy” and “demanding”? Or, “stupid”, “arrogant”, or “boring?”
Many people think the first way to be a bad boss is by being a bad person. That’s not accurate! You don’t have to hate your employees to be considered a bad manager. There are many reasons why managers can fail — and many of them have nothing to do with personality!
· Let’s flip the script with this question: What makes an effective leader?
I believe there are three keys:
1. Communication
2. Motivation/reward systems
3. Satisfaction
When managers lack these skills, they display the qualities of a terrible boss, making their employees miserable (or worse!)
- Communication: an essential characteristic of any good manager! When a manager is communicative and collaborative, employees have an opportunity to “speak up” when there are problems — rather than having them fester.
- Motivation: this might be the most crucial part of being an effective leader; after all, who wants to work for someone that fails to inspire greater performance? If you treat your employees with respect and reward their hard work, they will feel valued — making them a happy team!
- Satisfaction: when the team and the manager are satisfied, it leads to happier customers in the long run. Employee satisfaction and engagement should be the ultimate goal of any good manager.
Leadership skills will make or break how successful you are as a manager. Bad managers often lack these three critical traits because it’s not easy to manage people…but without these qualities, how can you expect outstanding results from your team?
These skills will also help create career opportunities for employees of all types, from entry to executive levels. This means you will attract top talent because they want to work for and with you because of what can happen for them down the road if they do!
What’s important is setting high expectations that show trust in individuals, while providing them clear direction about the goals they need to achieve. Empowering people requires hiring talented managers.
- Remember — today’s employee typically does not quit on the organization…they quit on their manager!
In a time of great challenges in finding skilled prospective employees in a competitive hiring environment, it’s probably never been more critical to have superior managers in your company.
Superb management is about creating a culture where employees are happy and know what they’re supposed to do daily. When this happens, you have excellent teams who feel valued for all the efforts they put in on behalf of your organization. Productivity and profits improve — and you’re well on your way to creating distinction!
If you’d like more information on how to lead more productive teams, join our ICONIC Inner Circle. There is no risk — your first month to check it out is on me! Simply go to: https://IconicInnerCircle.com for all the information on how you can create distinction and become ICONIC!
Jul 18, 2021 | Leadership, Sales & Retail
“Start with why” is a philosophy widely popular in business today. There’s no doubt that knowing your “why” is an excellent motivational tool.
- The problem is…customers don’t buy our “why.”
- Customers buy our how.
Think about a recent purchase — anything from an extensive B2B investment to something as varied in B2C as fast food or a laptop. If the product or service failed to perform as promised, did you give the company or its representative a pass because they possess a compelling “why”?
Would any customer ever say, “Gosh, this hamburger tastes terrible! But I can’t wait to go back and buy another one because their ‘why’ is so fantastic!” Of course not! Their “why” will never overcome their inability to distinctively deliver what we have purchased.
- Customers will never be interested in discovering our why until they are thrilled with our how!
It seems to me that reviewing an organizational or professional “why” is something akin to the cliché that “hindsight is 20/20.”
Isn’t it intriguing that we talk about the wildly successful companies and point out their “why,” yet frequently ignore the “why” of those who failed to achieve distinction? (Or authors “cherry pick” companies and retrofit a “why” statement to create an example that will fit their purposes…)
I’ll promise there are some companies – and individuals – who have failed, despite having a sincere and compelling “why.”
- There is a fundamental reason this is the case – the “why” is not why they buy.
Telling customers the reasons why you should be their preferred option is a necessary part of any successful marketing strategy, but it’s just one piece in the puzzle. The real challenge lies in helping them understand how you deliver a solution to their situation in a manner that is so remarkable that they choose you instead of the alternatives in the marketplace.
Please don’t misunderstand — if your “why” motivates you to dig deeper in delivering for customers, it’s a critical tool to help you succeed. A why can be a great motivator, but it’s just that — motivation to commit to delivering for your customers.
However, if you’re the type who contemplates their “why” and merely leaves it on paper or prints it on motivational posters – or believes your “why” will attract and retain customers – without delivering a strong how, then your business is in trouble.
- The how is what customers want and need from you.
If you aren’t illuminating for your prospects the unique reasons they should acquire your product or service – and if you aren’t developing repeat and referral business from the customers you already have — then there must be something missing with how you’re delivering.
Focus on improving your “how” — how you deliver, how you serve, how you enhance their experiences. Break it down and improve your delivery at every step along the way.
We discuss this phenomenon in detail – and provide specific strategies for you to enhance your ability to obtain and retain customers – in our Iconic Inner Circle. I’d love for you to check it out – your first month is FREE! Simply go to: https://IconicInnerCircle.com
Jul 11, 2021 | Business Distinction, Leadership
“Every change needs a story.”
This is a statement that I believe is true — and it’s one reason why employees have such a hard time with change. If you want to create distinction for your organization and yourself, you must be able to leverage change to your advantage.
Let’s face it, it’s not just an employee’s job description open to change in today’s marketplace — it’s also the company culture, coworkers’ personalities — and as we’ve witnessed during the pandemic, even their commute that can be altered. All of these (and more) are causing challenges for your team members.
Change is tough on all of us – especially when it comes in waves as it has recently. Let’s discuss how you can manage change and engage employees, so you can stand out from your competition.
The first key to managing change is preparation.
When employees know what’s coming, they can brace themselves psychologically for the changes that are about to take place.
- Step one, make sure you’ve provided broad insight into what is changing — and why — before you announce any specific alterations, reassignments, or reorganization. This will help ensure they’re fully engaged with what will be different in their day-to-day work lives.
- Next, provide training or education on how to do things differently so that people are ready when the transition starts. People react positively more often if they know what “better” or “different” looks like.
- Finally, try not to overwhelm employees with too much information immediately; instead of announcing every new approach all at once, present one new directive each week or month. This will give you time for preparatory measures while maintaining employee morale.
Second, change should be highly visible and communicated in a way that speaks to different personality types on your team.
From status quo-oriented personalities who fear the loss of power or influence, to people-oriented individuals who want information so they can make more in-person and virtual connections with their coworkers, organizational leaders must provide clear direction for all types of people.
It helps your team feel more secure — even if they’re not happy with the news.
Third, don’t just provide facts, figures, dates, and quotas. Tell a story.
Narrative engages both the heart and the head. You need to craft a story about why the change is coming and how it can be beneficial.
Story also makes it easier for your team to remember the changes and relate them throughout the organization. If you merely give them data and rules, they will probably simply “copy and paste” rather than communicate the story of the changes you’re making in a manner that’s positive and compelling.
- (If you need help with this, my course on creating and delivering a “Distinctive Story” is available to members of the Iconic Inner Circle. AND your first month is FREE, cancel anytime — meaning you can take the “Story” course as you try out the Iconic Inner Circle program with no obligation! https://IconicInnerCircle.com)
Remember:
- When you’re managing change, it’s important to communicate clearly with your team. Let them know why the change is happening and how they can prepare for it. Workers will feel more secure if they understand what is going on — even when their emotions may not align with that understanding.
- Take some time before you announce any changes so employees have an opportunity to ask questions and adjust.
- Don’t just give facts, figures, dates, and quotas; tell a story about why the change is coming and how this change could be beneficial for everybody involved! Narrative engages people both emotionally as well as intellectually.
As Dr. C. Carey Yang wrote, “Change is inevitable, suffering is optional.” If you follow these steps on dealing with change on your path to creating distinction, you will increase your odds of celebration rather than sorrow.
